


I Want Something Just Like This

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Adorable FitzSimmons (Agents of SHIELD), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s01e06 FZZT, F/M, FZZT au, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 09:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11529711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: What if Jemma had realised her feelings for Fitz sooner?A FZZT AU





	I Want Something Just Like This

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for ages now and am so glad that I've finally had a chance to post it. Title from Something Just Like This by Coldplay and The Chainsmokers

When he watched Jemma jump, it was one of the worst things he had ever seen, watching the wind take her. It was worse than the time she had collapsed in the lab when they were in the Academy from exhaustion, worse than the time he had had to rush her to the hospital when she had had appendicitis when they were in the Sci-Ops.

Watching the wind take her, twisting her body in the air and Ward jumping after her, snatching the parachute and the anti-serum from him in the hopes of finding her, hopefully saving her from death, it was something that he had never wanted to see.

Fitz had fallen back, leaning against the side of the Bus, breathing heavy, every breath catching in his throat. The world swam in front of him, Lola just a blur of colours.

He heard someone calling his name, faint and distant, the last thing on his mind. All he wanted to know about was Jemma, and whether she had survived. Because he couldn’t face the alternative; a life without her. Without her smile, how she lit up every room that she entered, her cheerful bubbly attitude that made each morning brighter, and her eyes, a soft whiskey brown, so gentle and caring, with a spark of curiosity, a zest for life. He couldn’t imagine a world without that, he _didn’t_ want to imagine a life without her.

“Fitz!” came a voice again, a cry of plea through the fog in his mind. It was female; Skye or May, he couldn’t quite tell. The voice came again, attempting to pierce his mind, trying to get through to him, but he couldn’t focus on that, not when Jemma was in trouble.

He felt arms under his own, lifting him to his feet. He took one stumbling footstep forward then another, the support from the two women, one on either side of him being the only reason he remained in his feet.

With some help, they managed to get him into a lab, and helped him onto a stool. The sudden breeze from the open door stopped suddenly as a glass one of the lab closed. He felt a hand guide his head between his knees, rubbing his back, and muttering reassurances that it would be okay, that Jemma would survive. That Ward would save her, that he was a specialist and if anyone could do it, it was him.

But despite all the words, nothing would reassure him until he saw Jemma standing there, in front of him alive. He wouldn’t believe anything until he could hold Jemma, hug her, feel her breath against his own, and smell that shampoo that she used, the one that was strawberry.

“May!” Skye’s voice called. It had to be. “We need a bucket. A dish. Anything.”

Within seconds, there was the thud of plastic on the ground between his legs, and he opened his mouth, without really realising what was happening, threw up. It was nothing more than bile, his stomach empty after hours of work and not really eating.

There was another reassuring hand running up and down his back, telling him that it was okay, that she was alive. That Jemma was safe.

He looked up, and around himself; Skye was standing to the side of him, rubbing her hand up and down his back. May was kneeling in front of him, her eyes looking at him. “Fitz,” she said, the words clearer than any other words he had heard since Jemma had jumped. “She’s alive?” he asked, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

May nodded, a small smile on her face. “She’s alive, Ward has her. They’re not out of the water yet, but they’re safe.”

He nodded, understanding the words that were being said to him. Words were still hard to come to him, his breathing still heavy as the panic started to ebb away.

He let out a long breath. She was alive. She was safe.

And that’s all that mattered to him.

***

The Moroccan office had pulled them out, Jemma unconscious in his arms, the electrical pulse having knocked her out as soon as it had emitted. It had been hard, treading water with Jemma in his arms. He had been more concerned about keeping her head above the water that the waves had overtaken him a number of times, salty water flowing down his throat and choking him.

He didn’t know how long they had been in the water before the rescue boat had pulled them out, taking Jemma first and laying her down gently before helping him out. After some discussing, Ward had been able to explain what had happened and who they were.

The two men on the boat had exchanged a look that Ward couldn’t translate and started to steer the ship back to the shore. Ward had taken a towel with thanks, wrapping it around himself and taking a seat next to Jemma. They had wrapped multiple towels around her to keep her warm but she was still asleep. He wasn’t sure how long she would be asleep for, but however long it was, it wouldn’t be enough. She had exhausted herself, and she looked awful at the moment; her face was pale, covered with a mixture of sweat and seawater, and her eyes were rimmed with red. It had been terrifying, watching her deteriorate over the past number of hours, but now she was alive. And that’s all that matted.

He had contacted May in the water, telling her that Jemma was alive and that they would pass on more information once they had it.

If only it had been that easy.

Once they had docked, they had rolled a stretcher up, lifting Jemma and fastened her into that, and rolled her away. But Ward hadn’t been allowed to follow her.

He had been taken to another room, given a pair of sweats and a jumper to change into and then had been left alone, locked in with no clue to what was happening, or even where he was.

Eventually, after a period of time, the door had unlocked and two agents had stood in the corridor, and Coulson stood there in the doorway.

A wave of relief flooded through him at this point, because if Coulson was there, it meant things were being sorted, that things would be okay.

“Sir,” he began, stepping forward, hands out as if to ask what was going on. “Is everything okay? Is Jemma okay?”

Coulson nodded. “She’s still in medical, asleep but waking up soon. May’s with her.”

He let out a breath, long and slow. He was thankful, knowing that Jemma wasn’t alone that she would be waking up soon, in a strange, unknown environment. “And us?”

“We’re getting out of here. May will meet us in about an hour when Jemma’s awake.” He headed out of the room, and Ward had to jog to catch up with him once he managed to unfreeze himself from his spot.

***

The beeping of a heart rate monitor woke her up, a low beeping. She groaned, rolling over in the bed. She frowned, opening her eyes and having to squint against the light in the room.

“You’re awake then,” came a voice from her left and she rolled over that way and saw May sitting on the chair next to her. The edges of her lips curved up into a small smile.

“What happened?” she asked, her voice heavy with sleep.

“The anti-serum worked. Ward administered it...”

“And Fitz?” Jemma asked with panic in her voice, wanting to know that he was okay, and hating the fact that she had caused so much pain and so much sorrow.

“He’s fine,” May reassured. “Skye’s with him. He’s worried about you.”

“When can I see him?”

“We’ve to get one final health check for you, make sure that everything’s okay. Then we can head back to the Bus.”

Jemma smiled, and pushed back the blankets, a heavy itchy thing. She swung her legs over the edge, to find that she was no longer wearing the clothes that she had jumped out of the plane in. She was wearing a nightdress that came down to her knees. She stood up, a little unsteady on her feet, swaying but it wasn’t long before May was on her feet, holding on to Jemma’s shoulder until the other woman was steady once again. “There’s clothes in the bathroom,” May said, using her thumb to gesture at the door that was on the opposite side of the room.

“Thank you,” Jemma whispered, smiling at May and staggering across the room and to the bathroom. She locked the door behind her and switched on the light. There was very little in the bathroom, just a toilet and a sink with a mirror above it. She pottered across the bathroom and took herself in in the mirror. Her skin was still pale but was slightly healthier than it previously had been. Her hair hung in damp clumps around her face. She breathed in, closing her eyes, thinking back to what had just happened that day. Her stomach twisted as she remembered what it was like to fall, to let the wind take her. The wind battering her body, her stomach dropping, and spinning sensation making her want to throw up.

And Fitz… Oh Fitz. Poor poor Fitz. He had been screaming her name when she jumped, telling her not to do it. But she had to. She didn’t know the anti-serum had worked, simply knocking the rat unconscious, and the one thing she knew was that she had to jump; she couldn’t kill the team.

It got to the point that she had to open her eyes, she couldn’t take the look of pain on his face. Not anymore.

“Jemma?” There was a knock on the door. It was May, asking to see if she was okay.

“I’ll be out in a moment,” she called out, and reached over, lifting the pile of clothes that had been left for her.

***

It was another number of hours before they returned to the Bus, and after her telling off from Coulson, all Jemma wanted to do was head back to her bunk and go for a nap. She was exhausted after the day, after all the meetings and health checks, and now all she wanted to do was sleep.

Skye had caught her on the way back to the bunk, pulling her in for a hug and telling her that she was glad the biochemist was alive and safe. Pulling away, Skye told her that Fitz was waiting for her in the lab. That he had gone there to tinker while Jemma was away. Jemma had nodded, saying that she would talk to him a bit later on, that she was so very tired at the moment. Skye had nodded in understanding, pulling her friend in for a hug one more time before letting her go.

And after that, Jemma headed off to her bunk, something she hadn’t thought was possible. She didn’t think she would have survived the virus, but she had Fitz had done it together. Like they always did, like they always would.

But she couldn’t talk to him now; not after all she had put him through, not after all that had happened. Because after nearly losing him, she had come to the realisation that she didn’t want to lose him, not now. Not ever. The very idea of being without him, it was terrifying. They had been together for so long now that life without him was but a distant memory. Something that she didn’t want to go back to. Life with Fitz, it was so much more enjoyable, full of so much fun, adventure and love.

Love. At first, she had always thought that her feelings of love towards Fitz were those that were platonic, formed from years of working side by side, years of working together and living together. But she had never even considered that her feelings were something more than that, romantic. When she had been in the Academy, when she had worked for Sci-Ops, she had gone on a number of dates, had romantic partners but they had never lasted long, the relationship not working out for many reasons. She had never considered that she had feelings for Fitz. Even when he had gone on a date with Hannah, the relationship lasting only six weeks, she didn’t know but every time she came over, every time Fitz had went out with her, there had been a twisting sensation in her stomach, causing it to twist into endless knots and a burning sensation across the back of her ears. Back then, she had no idea what it was but now she knew; she had been jealous.

She had been jealous that someone was going out with her friend.

Over the years, she had fallen for him without realising.

She hurried back to her bunk, trying to push her feelings down and no have to acknowledge them.

***

Skye had come back to the lab and he tried to hide his disappointment that it wasn’t Jemma. He hadn’t seen her since she had come back, since she had jumped off the Bus. But he knew that she was alive, that she was okay.

“Where’s Jemma?” he asked, dropping his gaze back to what he had been tinkering with for the past few hours with, the Night Night Gun, trying to drop that extra ounce. But so far, he hadn’t succeeded, but then again he hadn’t put much effort into it, simply taking it apart and reassembling it again.

“She’s gone to bed,” Skye said, sliding into the chair that she had claimed as her own ever since she had jointed the Bus and opening her laptop. “She seemed exhausted.”

“Yeah,” Fitz replied, his heart and soul not really in it. “She would be.”

“But she’s alive.” The words were all but breathed out but Skye and with that Fitz dropped the Night Night Gun, a little bit louder than he wanted to. “Fitz?”

He pushed back from the desk and stood. “I’m going to sleep myself.” He waved his hand, gesturing at himself. “Long day and all that.”

Skye looked at him, eyes wide in understanding and nodded. “Of course. Just… have a nice sleep.”

Fitz nodded his thanks, and left the lab, heading straight to his bunk. But on the way, he bumped into Ward, the other man trying to make conversation but Fitz just shook him off, saying that he was heading to bed. He had had a long day.

The truth was, he couldn’t bear to face Ward, not after what had happened, not after what he had done. Not that he hated Ward for it, he had saved Jemma, and for that, he was forever thankful to Ward. But he couldn’t face what would come next, how Jemma would hate him, resent him for not being the one to jump.

For not helping her, for not saving her.

For failing her, letting her down.

Loosening his tie and pushing open his door, he made his way into the bunk, the tie sliding from between his fingers and into a crumpled mess on the floor, and Fitz himself collapsing onto the bed.

But sleep didn’t come easy to him, tossing and turning for hours on end. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see her, falling, screaming. And sometimes, Ward hadn’t managed to save her. That she had died.

And every time that had been the case, he had woken up screaming, terrified in those brief seconds between sleep and consciousness, he thought that it was true, that Jemma had actually died and that he was going to have to adjust to life without her.

Then he remembered that she was alive. That he wasn’t going to have to adjust to life without her, that he wasn’t going to have to adjust to life without that soft sweet lilt, and those whiskey eyes that held more care and joy than anyone else he knew.

After the third time that had happened, and still having got next to no sleep, he decided that he was going to have one more attempt, and if he still wasn’t successful after that, he was just going to give up and remain awake.

However, a soft knocking at his door and he sat up, trying to fight the fog in his mind and work out what was happening. “Jemma?” he called out, hoping it was her at the door.

It opened and she was standing there, dressed in one of his old shirts, a sad smile on her face. “I can’t sleep,” she whispered, and he patted the bed beside him and she pottered into the room, climbing onto the bed beside him. He wrapped his arms around her, and lowered the two of them onto the bed so they were curled up together. It was just like the Academy, when they shared a tiny bed together after spending hours studying together.  “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “It’s okay, you did… you did what you thought you had to do but you’re alive. You’re safe. Ward… He saved you.”

“No…” she breathed. “Ward may have jumped out the plane but it was you who found the cure. You saved me Fitz, you’re the hero.”

“I am?”

She laughed, soft and sweet. “Yes, you are. I wouldn’t be here without you Fitz.”

“I can’t be a hero,” he replied, his voice low, a hint of brokenness lacing it. “How can I be a hero? I’m just me.”

“No,” she reassured him, the word a breath. “No, Fitz. You are. You’re my hero.” She paused, staring at him and he tried to read her face, work out what she was saying but for once, he couldn’t. “I love you.”

The words were a whispered confession, then the edges of her lips curved up again. “I love you Fitz.”

He frowned at her. “You do?”

She nodded, the sheets shifting under her. “I do Fitz. I didn’t… I didn’t realise until today, until I could lose you. You’re right, we’ve done everything together, and you’ve been by my side the whole damn time, and there’s no one else that I want by my side.”

He closed his eyes upon hearing her confession, and reached over, cupping her face before tilting his head closer to hers, allowing his lips to dance over hers. Her lips were soft and tender, and they shared a gentle kiss that was so full of life, so full of passion.

It was minutes before they pulled apart, their foreheads resting against each other. He laughed. “That was… magnificent.”

“Yeah?” she asked, trying to stop the fluttering in her stomach, the pounding of her heart after what just happened, after Fitz had kissed her.

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “I thought I was the only one who had these feelings, I thought that…”

“No,” she reassured him, closing the distance once again. Kissing him, it made her wonder why they had taken so long to do this, taken so long in coming to terms with what their relationship truly was but now they had worked it out, now they worked out just what their relationship was. She smiled at him once his eyes, blue and twinkling met hers again. “Are you ready for this? Do you think that you can brave this?”

He nodded. “I’ll do my best to power through.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for checking out, hope you guys enjoyed this one!


End file.
